The Strength of Kindness
The greatest gift we can give to ourselves
What does it mean to be kind?
Collins Dictionary tells us, “Kindness is the quality of being gentle, caring, and helpful.”
The website Inspire Kindness tells us that kindness is more than simply being nice. They state, “There can be a lack of sincerity in just being nice; there is often a perception of doing the minimum. Whereas, being kind is doing intentional, voluntary acts of kindness. Not only when it’s easy to be kind, but when it’s hard to be.”
I would challenge the concept of kindness to go one step further, however. Are we obliged to be kind to people who do not embrace life-giving principles? How does one respond, for example, to a person who is blatantly racist in word and action? Should we remain gentle and caring, or is it appropriate to respond in a way that they may find displeasing?
Before going further, we need to recognize the principles that have allowed individuals and groups throughout history to achieve a positive, enduring legacy. The most basic of these is respect for life. We recognize the sacredness of every other being, as well as the gifts we possess. We are humbled by the fact that we need others, yet we also embrace our responsibility toward the well-being of our neighbours, especially those who are most vulnerable. Sometimes, doing the right thing involves being labeled as “not nice.” A truly strong person has the courage to accept this burden and the consequences that may follow.
The conflict between being nice and doing the right thing is the central theme of the films “Wicked” and “Wicked: For Good”. Both are extensions of the story of The Wizard of Oz, written, ironically, by L. Frank Baum, a 19th-century American who supported the genocide of Indigenous peoples. The story goes into the friendship between Glinda the Good Witch and Elphaba the Wicked Witch. Eventually, they are challenged to confront the illusion of goodness in the Land of Oz and the cruelty that underlies it. The theme is hauntingly similar to Baum's Eurocentric conception of North America.
In the end, Glinda must choose between pleasing the Wizard and being a kind - yet principled - leader in her community. It is not unlike the real-life dilemma that we all face when we choose respect for life over the illusion of power.
Without principle, all power is illusory and will eventually fail. This is as true for individuals as it is for empires. A quote often attributed to American President Abraham Lincoln states, “You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.” People will catch on sooner or later, and when they do, our house of cards will collapse.
The security one gains through unnecessary violence is also an illusion. Referencing the State of Israel, American Vice President J.D. Vance pointed out, “You can’t just kill your way out of solving every single national security problem that you have.” Vance, however, seems oblivious to the fact that acts of military aggression carried out by his own administration could be compromising the well-being of the United States.
For individuals, being principled while being kind is the key to success and happiness. Many may not agree with us, some may despise us, and others will even want to harm us, but deep down, and in the long run, people will respect us.
Most importantly, being a principled person is an act of kindness toward oneself.